BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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