Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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