ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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