I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
