i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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