I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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