question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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