watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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