i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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