Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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  (760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk
  Replies (26) Good night (4657) Bad night (769)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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  (703): And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet... http://tfl.nu/n7ez
  Replies (51) Good night (622) Bad night (5620)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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  (404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq
  Replies (27) Good night (3864) Bad night (834)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

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  (603): the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing... http://tfl.nu/ohtd
  Replies (61) Good night (585) Bad night (4259)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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  (214): dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones! http://tfl.nu/aql1
  Replies (72) Good night (6636) Bad night (1137)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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  (267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy
  Replies (37) Good night (8086) Bad night (858)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.

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  (734): I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather. http://tfl.nu/4j7n
  Replies (5) Good night (4402) Bad night (1009)
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  (914): View more from New York

  all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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  (914): all she had left on were here heels. phone five http://tfl.nu/azpy
  Replies (11) Good night (5310) Bad night (833)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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  (602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul
  Replies (15) Good night (2586) Bad night (996)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.

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  (801): After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/tfvw
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (1470)
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  (628): View more from California

  Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.

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  (628): Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes. http://tfl.nu/sfav
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (302)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How was it playing wingman?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed

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  (847): How was it playing wingman? (312): I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed http://tfl.nu/t31c
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (515)
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  (909): View more from California

  Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.

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  (909): Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring. http://tfl.nu/ocwc
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (279)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life

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  (250): so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life http://tfl.nu/wis1
  Replies (6) Good night (288) Bad night (1067)
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  (619): View more from California

  AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO

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  (619): AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO http://tfl.nu/6txg
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (366)

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