Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks. http://tfl.nu/pli4
  Replies (27) Good night (3971) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining http://tfl.nu/lz11
  Replies (24) Good night (5370) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/520f
  Replies (31) Good night (2537) Bad night (7164)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9
  Replies (36) Good night (3510) Bad night (3766)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is. http://tfl.nu/de6o
  Replies (11) Good night (5511) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high. http://tfl.nu/4ptt
  Replies (36) Good night (7776) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke. http://tfl.nu/ibe5
  Replies (11) Good night (910) Bad night (3913)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack http://tfl.nu/ipzj
  Replies (15) Good night (3466) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dkws
  Replies (4) Good night (3010) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were http://tfl.nu/gg4c
  Replies (5) Good night (2453) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot http://tfl.nu/chtf
  Replies (1) Good night (914) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I need to beat up a magician now. BRB. http://tfl.nu/9fa0
  Replies (12) Good night (1143) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d
  Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash? http://tfl.nu/c8co
  Replies (12) Good night (587) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  & I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): & I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley http://tfl.nu/1on6
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (213)

Randomize