he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.