Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
