Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This is my gift to your gina
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...