I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I need a burrito and a hug.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
