people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
