this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
40s are totally the cure
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
