Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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