go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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