his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
