What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize