the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
