why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
