I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
