Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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