I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
