He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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