Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
