the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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