I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize