My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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