Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
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its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
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It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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