Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize