My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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