my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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