haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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