In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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