this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
