don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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