Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
