btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
