These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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