i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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