Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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