he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm at about main and main street
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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