I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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