My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize