All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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