I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
