just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
