People in love make me want to vomit
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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