i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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