saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
