I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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