plz talk dirty to me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize