Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
