Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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