yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
