My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
