Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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